If there was no lesson learned from a mistake, it will most likely repeat itself in one way or another.
Many times we ask ourselves why we continue to fall into the same crisis over and over again. We don't understand how we end up exactly where we started emotionally, regardless of how the situation began. Sadly, it takes longer for some than for others to finally get it.
Here's a good example of this. I know of a person who has been married and divorced three times. Throughout his life he has had many failed relationships, including with his children, siblings and friends.
In my quest to get to the bottom of why this person could not form healthy relationships; I learned that he never took responsibility for his toxic contribution toward each failed relationship. He blamed the other person each and every time. I actually remember hearing even his mother justifying his bad choices, "my son has been dealt such a bad hand in life. He continues to meet the wrong people." SERIOUSLY??? You mean to tell me that your son had the wrong job when he was fired for getting into fights with everyone that didn't agree with him? or That he met the wrong women because they wouldn't put up with his drinking, verbal abuse and womanizing?? Or that he had every right to stop talking to his sibling for years because he felt inferior to them for making better life choices? He actually believed that their sole purpose of succeeding was to ridicule him. or that he doesn't get involved in his children's lives because they are the ones that should pursue him?
He will soon be in his 80's and still believes he has been a victim, "everyone leaves me." Other times he justified his hostile reactions by blaming the other person for pushing his buttons. He has even referred to his life as cursed or unlucky. This is a perfect example of how we can go through our entire life in denial. The results, at this time in his life, he is alone.
Face and resolve is my new motto.
Just like this man we ourselves use those same excuses to resist taking fault. We see denial as an easier route than facing the fact that our lives are not what we want it to be because of our own doing. Some of the most common excuses I have heard:
* I'm not married because I keep meeting the wrong person.
* My relationships fail because I have not been as lucky as other people.
* Everyone leaves me and betrays me that's why I can't trust.
* I don't see my kids because they don't look for me.
* I don't see my kids because they don't look for me.
It isn't until we take responsibly of our part in the matter and make a conscious decision to do it differently, that we are able to see the cycle break. The only person you can control is yourself. If your life is not where you wish it would be. If you are lacking what you have dreamed of having: a spouse, children, career etc. then its time to open your eyes wide and stop living in denial. The truth will set you free; free to see where you went wrong and fix it.
On my next blog I will give you some steps towards experiencing a breakthrough in your life.
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