The Blind Leading The Blind

I can take very little credit for the good choices I have made in my life up until this point.  It would be deceiving for me to tell you that they have all been made from pure intellect, common sense and spirit leading.  The truth is that my choices have come from painful experiences and great advice, but mostly from mentorship.  My bad choices on the other hand have been made completely by my stubborn nature. LOL

In the past few years I have focused on living life to the fullest and enjoying my family’s every breath; while at the same time pleasing my God and bringing glory to His name.  This has been a decision made from painful experiences like the death of my brother, my mother’s cancer diagnosis, and many others. 

There has to be a deciding moment in our lives. A moment when we realize that what we are doing is no longer filling us.  No matter what we do, we have no joy, no peace, no drive or even focus. We feel like our life is going around like in a merry go round making the same stops every few years.  That moment came to me after many life crises.  I learned that to do things differently I had to find people to teach me how to do it.  But in order to allow this process to take place I first had to let down my pride and admit to myself that I didn't know how to make it better.  That I needed to embrace the help of other people; not an easy task for an independent thinker like myself.  

After that realization I devoted some time in finding different mentors for the different rolls I play in my life.  There are people I look up to as Christians, as parents, others as spouses, in ministry, as citizens, students… No one has it all together, that’s why we need one another.  When the bible says “in the multitude of counselors there is wisdom” that’s what it’s referring to.  We all have something we have done well but I also believe that not all married couples could be marriage counselors or mentors.  Not all parents could be mentors… Everyone can be a mentor in one area or another, but we are certainty not an expert in everything.  

Five things I look for in a mentor:

1.       God fearing people. People that love God with all their heart and have devoted their lives to His service.  (in our case, preferably in ministry because we can relate to them)

2.       People that have accomplished something from beginning to end with great success. Ex. Raised Godly children that are serving God even after they are grown and out of their parents’ house. 

3.       People that have been married longer than I and have been able to preserve a healthy relationship with their spouse throughout the years.

4.       People that are trust worthy and live with integrity.

5.       People that are willing and able to be transparent in order to help others achieve what they have achieved.

This can easily become a “blind-leading the blind” fest only because when you go through tough times you become consumed in your quest of finding people that are going thru similar circumstances. However, don’t get caught up in a pity party.  These people can help you but at the same time they are struggling with the same issues.  Although they can most definitely  understand where you are coming from, you can be triggers for each other.  My mentors are the complete opposite of me.  For instance, some are border-line OCD. Hahaha Why?? Because I need organization in my life! So I learn from the way they carry themselves and by the way they live. 

What would I like for you to take away from this? Choose your mentors wisely, but choose them! We can't do life alone.  Someone out there has accomplished what you so desperately want to accomplish and can lend you a helping hand, especially by example. Get off the merry-go-round and start paving a new path.  YOU CAN DO IT!