Is FLIRTING harmless?

Would you agree that today more than ever we have to work extra hard to stay present?  There are distractions everywhere! The Internet alone has enough information and entertainment to keep us occupied for hours, days, months even years! Lol I find myself literally making a conscience effort to stop the research, stop working, get off FB & twitter and actually call someone or go out with a friend.

I believe this is one of the reasons so many are drawn to online flirting or to flirting period.  These distractions, when they get out of hand; make people feel a lack of intimacy, a void.  Humans were created for intimacy; we crave love, acceptance, attention and recognition from the people we care about.  The problem begins when we get so wrapped up in other things, we lose that connection.  Therefore, causing people to seek it anywhere they can it.  Sadly for some, the easiest and fastest way to get it is by flirting.

It doesn’t help that we are constantly being bombarded by advertisements encouraging this action; it’s made as easy as the click of the mouse.  Now that we have the Internet on our phones; the lure is there 24/7.  If we don’t take the time to nurture our relationships, we can easily fall prey of these schemes.

Is flirting harmless?…. Absolutely not.  Flirting is merely asking “do you find me attractive,

interesting, and desirable; worth looking at or talking to?” When you flirt while married, you are expressing a need to fill an unfulfilled area in your life that should be met.  I completely agree with the study that put “boredom” as one of the reasons for flirting.  That is very likely; a person that lacks connection, passion or intimacy; be it in their job, marriage or friendships is most definitely hungry to meet the natural needs of a human. So is this person a monster? Do they deserve to be put to death? Absolutely not. LOL The wrong doesn’t come with the need; it comes with how we react to that need; how we try to fill it.  The need is natural, the reaction it’s not.    

Now here is the part that we hate to hear….. NO ONE can fill those needs for us.  The flirting, the online chatting, the affairs, are all temporary band aids.  They may feel good at the moment but they all lack true intimacy.  Worst of all they are a bottomless pit, one thing leads to another to another.  It’s a never ending quest for true intimacy in all the wrong places.

When we can achieve true intimacy with the person we are married to; it’s the most rewarding satisfying feeling on earth.  Think about it, your spouse sees your ugly side and your moody side.   They know everything about you, bad habits, weaknesses, clumsiness, messiness, silliness and even your craziness! Now, if you can get that person's unconditional love…. that’s what I call fulfillment! Lol

 The reason so many apt for the easier choice, is because true intimacy requires hard work, maturity, responsibility and above all else commitment.

How is the person involved affected negatively? They are missing out on the most rewarding experience life has to offer; giving and receiving unconditional love and true intimacy.  Unless they put in the work to change their ways, they will live  unfulfilled lives,  always searching for the next quest.  

How is their spouse affected? whether they find out about the flirting or not, they are being robbed of true intimacy. They are fighting a losing battle working alone for  a fulfilling marriage. The person doing the flirting is incapable of giving them 100 percent of themselves. Their heart and their mind is divided.

  

Lastly, although my marriage is far from perfect, but we have worked very hard to maintain unconditional love  for one another.  How? by mastered the art of forgiveness and acceptance.  We have been married 20 years and dated 7 years.  But I can tell you that every morning when I look into my husband's eyes I see unconditional love... and I make sure that he sees the same in mine. 

If we are doing it.... you can too! 
Thanks for reading....