I know the pain of verbal & emotional abuse

I am not a professional, I'm merely stating my opinions about my life's lessons and about my observations. Even though I have never been in an abusive relationship, I have experience bullying.  I believe that emotional and verbal abuse is a form of bullying.  It causes some of the same feelings and reactions on its victims.  When I was in middle school, there was a girl that bullied me.  I remember the feelings as if it were yesterday. 

From the moment I woke up, I felt a knot in my stomach that wouldn't let up until I got back home.  I remember telling my mom that I felt sick and didn't want to go to school.  When I entered the school building I would look down the hall hoping that she wouldn't appear.  The worst part about it was that she wasn't alone, about the second semester she had recruited three more girls for her “hate Millie” gang. LOL

I have to admit that those were my worst school years.  The words, the ridicule, the body language, the sarcasm and the constant antagonizing almost paralyzed me.  I remember walking on egg shells; I never knew when they were going to strike.  They never physically hurt me, but they bruised my heart pretty bad. 

 If I understand it correctly these are some of the same feelings experienced by someone that lives with, is friends with, works for or that even has them as an authority figure in 

their church.   

The classic characteristics of these types of people are:

1. They require a lot of attention; everything has to be about them.

2. They are constantly belittling.  They use statements like “how can I put this so you could understand it” or “how many times do I have to explain this to you?” and of course in more extreme cases, demeaning words are used to address the other person.

3. They use sarcasm as their natural way of speaking. LOL

4. They always find someone or something to blame when things go wrong.  It is never their fault.

5. They have no empathy; no ability to understand the feelings of others.  

6. You never know when they will react, therefore keeping you in constant anxiety and turmoil.

7. They create an intimidating atmosphere.  People feel like they have to walk on egg shells around them because they are easily offended.

8. They are usually control freaks.  They want to make every decision regardless if it directly affects them or not.  They have to have it their way all the time.

9. There is no reasoning with them. They think they are always right; that they know what’s right for everyone around them.

10. They experience very little remorse if any at all.

For the most part these people are inconsistent and underachievers. They are ruled by their emotions and usually end up sabotaging their own success. That being part of the reason they need to have someone under their control, because they are so out of control within.

Tomorrow I will continue with my middle school story.  I will also speak about the dynamics of these types of relationships and how they can be broken.