Today I would like to write about ways we can identify if we are being verbally and emotionally abused. There are many people that
because they don’t have bruises, they don’t consider themselves victims. I will give my opinion based on what I have
lived and also from what I have seen others live. I will not isolate this topic to any
particular gender because I have seen just as many males as females endure
it. I will not isolate this topic to
“romantic” relationships, because I have seen this dynamic take place in
friendships, in the workplace and even in the church.
We all have issues, weaknesses, and annoying habits; that does
not give someone the right to belittle us, antagonize us or humiliate us. The first step to freedom is recognizing we
need it. Below I will list some
commonalities that I have noticed in people that are victims of these types of
relationships.
1. They are constantly apologizing.
2. They feel as if they are a burden to others.
3. They keep things to themselves because they are
afraid of upsetting, hurting or worrying others.
4. They are 99.9% people conscience; constantly
afraid of what people are thinking.
5. They blame themselves when things go wrong;
extremely hard on themselves.
6. They are willing to help others but have a
difficult time asking or receiving help.
7. They feel unworthy. Usually try to prove
themselves worthy with material things and appearance.
8. They feel most comfortable in a position where
they are serving or giving; rather than receiving.
9. They create their own reality and believe it
whole hardheartedly, however distorted it may seem to other people.
10. They become numb; it is very difficult for them
to break free of these relationships.
If you see yourself in most of these, chances are there are areas in your life where you are being treated unfairly. Keep in mind that there are tons of variations of these characteristics. Also, a person is capable of allowing themselves to be victimized in one area, for example in their “romantic” relationship, and not in other areas of their life.
Tomorrow I will talk about the characteristics of an abuser and how they make us feel. Stay tuned...
I've been a victim of this constantly having to try to satisfying someone emotion always having to bow down making all kinds of sacrifices that were useless . Until I was changed for someone else lost all my friends and developed sever anxiety. It has affected me in a way that I no longer want to have a relationships with anyone because I fell it will happen again.
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