short novel "I see white clouds" Part 7

I was upset, annoyed and frustrated; why was this happening? Who or what was messing with my head? I searched my room from wall to wall trying to be logical about my missing journal. I cleaned and rearranged my room completely. I moved the bed, which was the heaviest piece of furniture in the room, to the wall facing the door. I loved that bed; it was an espresso brown sleigh bed; sophisticated with a touch of chic. I placed my bright yellow cushiony, comfy chair on the wall to the left of the bed by the window. My six drawer dresser and oval mirror I put on the right side of the room. I dusted everything, sprayed the earthly tan area rug with carpet freshener, and mopped the natural wood floor with a small swifter mop I kept in my bathroom. Lastly, I changed my bedding; there was an unopened bed in a bag in the closet that I was saving for a special occasion like Christmas or spring or summer. I ripped it open; the comforter was a lush cream color with a solid satin trim. The sheets were also cream; my bed looked like it was a torned off page from a JC Penny’s catalog. Inside the bag there were four deco pillows. They had delicate long stemmed tulips embroidered in the center. The flowers were purple, pink, green and yellow.

I was so excited that I dressed the bed even though it was bed time. I turned on the lamps on both side tables and shut off the ceiling light. With the soft light of the lamps, the room

took on a warm luxurious look. I remembered I had some lavender plug-ins in my closet, again, saving them for a special day. I plugged them in and within minutes the room smelled like a spring garden when the flowers were in full bloom. By the time I was done I had forgotten what I was looking for; my room looked beautiful, spacious, cozy, bright, even the purple walls didn’t look so bad anymore. I loved it; I wish I would’ve made this change sooner. I didn’t realize this room had so much potential. It was 11:00pm and I was exhausted. After a quick shower, as I walked out into my room, I looked around in amazement, took in the smell; the space took my breath away. It had an entirely new feel and vibe. It looked vibrant, joyful, rejuvenated, and simply alive.

Pulling the covers to cuddle in my beautiful bed, I wondered what would happen tonight. I’d hope I could get a good night’s sleep but I’d also hoped I could finally figure out what was happening. That’s when I decided if it happened, I will face it. In the mean time I put some soft jazz on, and allowed myself to enjoy my surroundings. With a big smile I fell into a deep sleep and didn’t wake up until I felt the bright sun shining through my window. When I opened my eyes I didn’t know where I was, it looked like a room from a luxury hotel. With the dresser no longer covering the window, the sun could come inside and brighten up the room. I had never felt so refreshed after a night’s sleep. It was the weekend, so I didn’t have any sessions; I wished I could have shown her my room. We did however have a special event happening. Different corporations were sending representatives to our facility, they were going to interview to offer either job training or schooling opportunities to us. 

I styled my hair, put on some make up, and looked in my closet to figure out what I’d wear. I didn’t own any dresses; I didn’t like them. I loved to be comfortable and free to climb

trees, run through fields and explore the outdoors. I pulled out a black comfortable skirt and an emerald green blouse. I took a long look at myself in the mirror. I didn’t see that lost look in my eyes that I’d had for years following the storm. My green eyes had a sparkle I hadn’t seen since I was a child, my brown hair looked shiny and healthy. When I got here I was weak, weighed about 95 lbs, and walked looking towards the ground afraid to face anyone. As I looked at myself now, I could hardly recognize that amazing body starting back at me. LOL I had avoided looking in the mirror for so long,  I hadn’t even noticed my changes until now. I looked strong and confident, hmmmm I’d dare say beautiful. I smiled at myself, took a deep breath and headed out to face the day.

Walking into the conference room, I felt as if all eyes were on me; and I didn’t mind one bit. I strolled about with confidence; I could not believe how far I’ve come. The first display table that caught my attention was horticulture. I was intrigued by everything that had to do with mother earth. A sweet woman approached me and asked if I’d like to be considered for a career in the field. Before I said yes, thoughts of my "drifting" came to mind. I remembered that because of it, I had not been able keep a job, focus, or even finish college. I told her that I’d love to but that I didn’t know if I could. That’s when what I'd been told in my sessions came to mind; the more I talk the farther in between the drifting would become until they would eventually fade away. I realized I could hardly remember the last time I’d had an episode; I began to believe that maybe I could do this or that I should at least give it a shot. She handed me a pen and a signup sheet and said “write your name here, we will begin the interviews at three o’clock. If by then you decide, please come on in, we’d love to meet you.” Butterflies began floodering in my stomach I felt excitement and nervousness all at the same time. I’ve never felt hopeful before, I could literally close my eyes and see myself working in a field with all different types of plants. I wanted to be a part of a team that discovered and developed holistic medicine. The more I thought about it the more clearly I could see the full vision of what I wanted to do with my life.  I could see it, almost feel it, I had hope. I could hardly contain my excitement, I felt a passion rise up within in me, a passion I never thought I had.  

I was trying to contain myself but I couldn't, I sprinted back to the horticulture table.  Afraid I would lose my courage I opened my mouth immediately to say,"if you'd have me, I'd be honored to be considered for your program." I was teary eyed, I wanted this more than anything.  Please give me a chance, I thought to myself.  Without saying a word she took my hand and walked me into a room.  There was a panel of four people sitting behind a table and a chair in front of the table facing them.  After talking to them briefly, she turned to me and said "Priscilla, take a seat, they will interview you now."
WHAT, NOW?!?! OMG!!!!!!!