Monday, June 3, 2013

INFIDELITY, gender bias?

Touchy subject today, however, I’m upset enough to tackle it.  Pat Robinson’s remarks on infidelity took me over the edge.  Yes, I took into consideration his age! Lol I’ll tell you this, I think age cannot change your belief system, if anything it will probably highlight it since you no longer have the ability to “pretend” to be someone you are not.  Regardless, this post isn't about attacking him in anyway.  He has done so much good in his lifetime that his good deeds far outweigh his mishaps.  I’m just curious about how many people still feel the way he does.  This is his response to a woman's email about her cheating husband:

Robertson added: "He cheated on you. Well, he's a man. OK. So what you do, is you begin to focus on why you married him in the first place, on what he does good.

"Does he provide a home for you to live in? Does he provide food for you to eat? Does he provide clothes for you to wear? Is he nice to the children? Do you have a happy family? Does he take your kids to sporting events? Does he go out and watch their Little League games? Does he share with you stuff that's going on? And is he handsome? Ya know, what is he?"

This week I want to focus on the subject of infidelity.  Types of infidelity, reasons for and how they affect the person that was betrayed.  As for my two cents about Pat, I strongly disagree with him this time…. I don’t know him personally and I’m surely not going to judge him as a person, however his clearly stated opinion on this matter bothered me.  As a person who knows the word of God, he should know that there are no gender exceptions when it comes to sin.  I have met many people with this mindset especially from an older generation.   But guess what, there is a higher word that transcends all social, cultural, and generational opinions and that is the word of God. 

I remember a few years ago I was talking to a woman whose husband had been unfaithful.  She was talking as if she blamed the other woman more so than her husband.  Well, I can see how they are both at fault if the other woman was a friend or a family member of hers; but the other woman didn't even know he was married!  She had the same set as Pat, “boys will be boys”.    In her mind, men didn't have the ability to turn down a woman, so it was up to the woman to seduce or not.  I went home thinking about that, I didn't say much because I've never experienced that situation, so I felt as if I didn't have much to offer.  When I got home, I could not stop thinking about it, so much about it didn't seem fair.  And then like lighting, it hit me! She is sooooo wrong!!!

The next day I was ready for her; first of all the bible says this about temptation:

There isn't any temptation that you have experienced which is unusual for humans. God, who faithfully keeps his promises, will not allow you to be tempted beyond your power to resist. But when you are tempted, he will also give you the ability to endure the temptation as your way of escape. 1 Corinthians 10:13

Sorry sweetie, I don’t think God left out “gender” by accident; this applies to EVERYONE!

Oh but I didn't stop there, I also remembered the story of Joseph,

According to the Book of Genesis 39:1–20 Potiphar's wife tried to seduce Joseph, who ELUDED her advances. As Joseph REPELLED her attempt to lure him into her bed, she grabbed him by his coat: "And it came to pass about this time, that Joseph went into the house to do his business; and there was none of the men of the house there within. And she caught him by his garment, saying, Lie with me: and he left his garment in her hand, and FLED, and GOT “HIMSELF OUT."

How much more difficult could this have gotten for Joseph!

1. She had been flirting with him. but he ELUDED her advances. In other words didn't engage.

2. As if that wasn't enough, he came into work to find her in bed.

3. She literally grabbed him to LURE him into her bed. But he RAN!

If this is not a clear example of what a man should do in the midst of temptation, nothing is. Needless to say,
the woman I was talking to didn't have much to say; because if you are a Christian and take the bible at its word, there is not much you can say after that. My point “boys will be boys” is not biblical. The word applies to everyone not just some; we can’t pick and choose what accommodates our lifestyle. Or what makes us feel better at the time. To live in truth is the only way to live, a man or a woman that takes full responsibility for infidelity and is truly repentant, meaning makes no excuses for what they have done. That person will surely be restored.

In God’s eyes, there is no excuse for infidelity; whether your spouse is too fat, too skinny, doesn't keep a clean house, doesn't cook, doesn't like intimacy and the list goes on and on; it has nothing to do with any of that. It has everything to do with having principles and good moral standards (regardless of being a Christian or not). With that in place, they too would have the ability to Elude, Repel, flee and get themselves out!


  1. Xiomara FernandezJune 3, 2013 at 12:38 PM

    Betrayal is betrayal, and sin is sin, whomever commits it should be and is held accountable before God and the person they enterted a covenant with before God; no matter race, gender, age, etc...

    The Word itself is very clear in this matter. Forgiveness from God can only happen if the person is repented. No freebies for anyone from sin because of their gender. I completely believe in restoration, but it starts with repentance and never committing that sin again...

    As to the spouse, they are required to forgive to enter heaven themselves, but it doesn't mean they need to remain with that person, but if they chose so, God can restore the trust and respect lost as long as both parties are willing to do the work to repair and restore that marriage.

  2. I absolutely love this and totally agree with you!!
    Infidelity is a very hurtful and painful experience for the person that was cheated on. Even after forgiving your spouse it something that could take years to heal from. There is NO excuse for it!!
    I love the biblical references. thanks so much for writing your thoughts!

  3. I do believe that men and women are "wired" differently but, as you have pointed out, the Bible holds us all evenly accountable for our actions. I, too, can kind of understand Pat's sentiments because it appears he was cut from that old-school cloth but ministers of the Word really need to get with the times without having to compromise the interpretation and application of God's word. I'm so sick of hearing about "boys being boys" and women being Jezebels. Matter of fact, we should all be praying extra hard for the married couples because that's where the devil hits hardest - the home. If he can destroy the home unit, then he can divide the church. Lets unite!!!

  4. Love absolutely every word you said! Everything is on the dot just like the bible says! The enemy is a liar and we need to rebuke all this in the name of Jesus Christ!