Things we can’t demand from others; love, affection, respect
and support. Something I read last
night, made me think about this. It
bothered me deeply how sometimes we can get into a pity party and stay there
all of our lives. I've been known to
dwell in there sometimes but I quickly shake myself off and “grow up!” Yes we get dealt with hands that we feel we
don’t deserve, and yes no one will ever understand what we are going through
unless they go through it themselves.
But that’s life, and even the bible warns us that in this world we will
suffer many afflictions. Now to expect
and demand certain things from people when we are going through trials and
tribulations, it’s just wrong; and what’s even worse is to judge the people when
we don’t get them.
This is my opinion about things that we cannot demand;
1.
Love is something that grows within us like a
flower. In order to bloom it needs to be
nurtured, cared for, and given enough attention to be able to blossom. Here is the problem, when we don’t want to
take the time to do the “nurturing” part, we most certainly cannot demand to
get it when we need it. So the next time
you feel like no one loves you, ask yourself; have I nurtured my relationships
enough for them to love me the way I want to be loved?
2.
Affection is something that comes as a result of
love. If we never sowed love onto
others, they will have a difficult time showing us affection. If our relationships with others have been
based solely on using them, we can’t be surprised when no one is around to give
us a hug when we need it. So the next
time we need a hug and look around only to realize that there is no one there
to give it to us, let’s ask ourselves; Have my friendships been solely based on
using people to my benefit and dropping them when they no longer serve me a
purpose?
3.
Respect cannot be demanded, it must be
earned. This has to be the most
difficult thing to earn and the easiest thing to lose. Some of us want to demand respect from others
when our actions and the way we live our lives does not deserve respect. We walk around lying, pretending to care,
doing “whatever” it takes to get ahead, and thinking of ourselves more highly
than we should. This causes others to
avoid us, disrespect us and distrust us.
So the next time you feel as if you are not getting the respect you
deserve, ask yourself; do I honestly respect other people’s time, words,
thoughts, feelings and value?
4.
Support is received when given. If we have never “genuinely” been there for
the sick, the needy and the lonely, we can’t expect for someone to be there for
us when we need support. Many things in our lives are based on the principle of
sowing and reaping, but in my opinion this one is probably the one that I’ve
seen come to pass the most. Sadly the
people that I have seen demanding it have never lifted a hand to help anyone
else. On the contrary, in situations
where their support was needed if they showed up at all; they would somehow use it to
their benefit. Whether I’d be to promote
something they were selling, or simply to talk about themselves. So when you feel like you are going through
something by yourself and the people who have been there for you are there no
more. Ask yourself this; have I been so ungrateful
in the past that the people that “know” me know better than to support me and
get burned again?
How do we know if we are one of these people? this is the ultimate test; look around you, how many of the people that TRULY and GENUINELY once supported you, loved you, respected you, and saw you and yours through some really difficult times are still around? If your answer is not many. Then you are one of these people. Stop demanding and start sowing.
How have I come to these conclusions, because my family and
I have been victims of many people like this.
They have used our resources, love, affection, respect and support until
they got back on their feet. As soon as
they were back on their feet, not only did we never hear from them again but
they have had the audacity to talk about us.
So yes, I have personally lived through some of the above, therefore
this post is probably coming from a place in my heart that still needs healing.
LOL but in hindsight, if we had to do it all over again, we would because it’s what
God calls us to do. Will we do it again
with some of the same people? NO. LOL
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