The man’s emotional role in the home

I don't pretend to know it all, neither do I have a perfect marriage or home life. My opinions are based on what I read and my life experiences.  Life in itself is a classroom and I have set my mind to get the highest degree.  I will continue to learn until the day I die. Knowledge is power. 

In my opinion, this society has gone a little too far when it comes to feminism.  I wonder if this extreme movement has made it challenging for men to play their role in the home.   With the intent of empowering woman, they portray a world where women don’t need men.  In a desperate attempt to prove their theory that woman can do it all without the help of a man; they promote everything from having children to fixing cars.  Don’t get me wrong, if you know anything about me, you know that I’m 100 percent in favor of “girl power.”  That being said, I also have a very clear understanding of the role of a man in my home. 

 

A man’s role in the home is to be a protector; to make his family feel safe and secure when he is around.  As a woman I step aside and allow my husband to execute that role; wrong or right, it’s his lesson to learn.  I don’t tell him what to do when it comes to our safety; be it financially, physically or emotionally.  Of course I’m talking about an emotionally healthy man who loves his family and fears God.     Not an insecure man that thinks his role includes making his family feel afraid of him or intimidated by him.  A family should feel that the male figure is there to protect, not that they need to be protected from him.  Sadly I have seen quite a few examples of male figures that abuse their role; abusing their family in the name of “respect.”  Respect does not include fear in any way, shape or form, the true definition of respect according to the dictionary is this:

Respect: a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities or achievements.  To admire someone deeply, to honor and esteem them. 

This should be every man’s goal, to be respected in such a way that their family would admire his integrity, self control, and leadership. 

A man should be the spiritual guide for his family.  A man sets the tone for the spirituality of the home.  Mom can sing and pray all day long but when the kids see daddy on his knees it’s a whole different story.  By doing this, the man is acknowledging that there is someone greater than him that helps him make decisions and guide the family.  It is a stronger unit when there is a spiritual male figure in the home. 

The man should be a man of good Character. A man of discipline, consistency, and integrity, is a man whose family feels stable and secure.  A man that is led by his emotions, lives in the moment, doesn’t plan for his family’s future, constantly breaks his word, lacks self control, this is a man whose family feels unstable, insecure and afraid. 

A man should be a provider for his family. Regardless of what a man does for a living, he should take pride in hard work.  His family needs to see him passionate about what he does; this will set the tone for the family’s striving to archive success.   I remember years ago, when my kids were smaller my husband would get really sad before he left out of town for work.  He didn’t like to leave them, he missed us terribly.  One day as I heard him talking to the kids about his upcoming trips, I heard him say that he was sorry he had to leave them for a few days.  The more I thought about it the more it didn’t sit right with me.  We talked about it and we came to the conclusion that it was not the best approach to take, being that they were at such an impressionable age; they might confuse his work as something bad, something that takes him away from them.  So after that day, we started to talk differently, with a more of a positive tone.  Now he tells them where he is going and what he is going to do there with a sense of pride that is contagious.   When he comes home, the kids can’t wait to hear about it.   He made them understand the importance of his trips not only for provision but also to help people in need. 

Lastly, a man serves as an example for his sons on how to be husbands and fathers, and for his daughters on how they should be treated by a man.  Understanding these roles will help us live a more intentional life.  By all means we will never master all of these, everyone makes mistakes.  But being aware will help us pick up the pieces and start over again tomorrow.  A man with a woman that understands these roles and steps aside to allow him to grow into the man he was born to be, can reach for the stars.  A woman that acknowledges his strengths instead of his weaknesses, respects his decisions, admires his character and knows her role, is what the bible calls; a help-meet.