Last Guns... It all Starts and Ends with You

Bitterness imprisons life; love releases it.  Bitterness paralyzes life; love empowers it. Bitterness sours life; love sweetens it. Bitterness sickens life; love heals it. Bitterness blinds life; love anoints its eyes. By Harry Fosdick

Be as sweet as sweet can be….. no one likes to be around a sour puss, that applies to all relationships.  I know that when I’m in a bad mood, it affects the energy of the entire house.  Can you imagine living with someone that is always bitter?  I can’t.   Being sweet as sweet can be requires practice but more than that it requires peace within.  Throughout my posts you are going to find that I make many references to counseling; that’s because I’ve had my share of it myself.   I’ve experienced the benefits of having a professional help me sort out my feelings and emotions; help me understand the things I didn’t, and accept the things I couldn’t. Facing these things is crucial to your peace of mind and happiness.  I may be overly stating this but in my opinion, everyone can use counseling.  Having a friend to talk to is great, but there is nothing like talking to someone who specializes in problem solving; whose career is that and that alone.  They have tools and insight that one can only acquire through studies.  Of course you can disagree with me, many people do not believe in seeking out “professional” help.  I only ask that if you find yourself bitter, angry and without peace and realize you have tried all you can to change it, but are unable to; don’t knock it until you try it. LOL

Show some vulnerability, not neediness.  Sometimes we have been so hurt in past relationships that we are afraid to be vulnerable with the people who really do love and care about us.  We make them pay for other people’s mistakes.  We put up a wall of protection that does not allow anyone to get close to our hearts.  That deprives us from experiencing a true loving relationship.  You become a person filled with suspicions, insecurities, sarcasms and overly sensitive.  Being vulnerable requires trust, if you are stuck in the past you won’t be able to trust.  This is an area that was difficult for me.  Growing up seeing woman being taken advantage of, made me afraid of being vulnerable.  That was until I realized that I didn’t have to find the perfect man, I had to become a confident woman. Yes, confident enough to open my heart, to be whole enough to know that I deserve to love and be loved, to trust and be trusted, to take a risk on someone as they, also, take a risk on me.  This was a long journey but I was determined to find it for myself; I wanted a life of emotional freedom.  In order for this to happen I had to be intentional; I had to face that many things I believed were solely based on the fear of being hurt. 

To be walking around with fear of being hurt is not living life to the fullest.  I refuse to do it, keeping in mind that the temptation tries to creep up every now and then. You have to almost “choose” to be vulnerable and open your heart, it doesn’t happen automatically. Can I promise you that you won’t be hurt again… no. Can you promise me that you won’t hurt anyone ever? I know I can’t.  We are humans and imperfection is part of our DNA.  The only thing we have control over is ourselves.  The one thing I refuse to do is be needy.  By this I mean; telling someone about the many times I’ve been hurt and begging them not to hurt me.  This is a sign of a person that will need constant reassurance. A person that, if the other person forgets to tell them they love them, begins to work up a scenario in their mind about how they are not loved anymore. Living this way is exhausting for both parties involved ,and eventually will lead to disaster.  No human being can live up to the expectations of a needy person. 

Never ever let them see you sweat! By this I mean let’s CUT THE DRAMA!! LOL say what you mean and mean what you say.  For goodness sake let’s stop the silliness;  "If you love me you would have given me a necklace instead of a bracelet for valentine’s day….  since you didn’t, I’m going to find me someone that will….. I will NEVER trust you again, you told me you were going to Wal-Mart and went to target instead!"  Hahaha  I know these are extreme examples but you get my point.  Only say things you really mean or your words will become powerless. I can tell you this, when I tell my husband that I’m upset, you better believe that he drops everything to hear what I have to say.  It took years of intentional living for me to realize that there are a lot of “petty” things that can be overlooked.  Think about this.... If everything is a crisis, the crisis itself loses importance. 

Lastly, I will leave you with this.... choose your battles, use your energy on becoming confident, kind, sweet, loving, affectionate, considerate, understanding and fair.  Regardless whether or not people deserve it, this is what you should strive to become.  When you are confident, trust me, there are many things that people will not dare try to get away with when it come to how they treat you. It all works hand in hand..... It all starts and ends with You.