Marriage R.O.C.K.S. part 3 A true story

Optimism 

My husband and I have been living in the same community for the past seven years.  During that time five marriages have ended in divorce.  This breaks my heart; all young couples, four of them with small children. What's happening? I wonder what could be so bad that makes people think that it's worth inflicting feelings of pain, loss, sadness, depression, loneliness, failure, and worthlessness upon the entire family. What makes people give up? The way I see it, for some it was infidelity, others lack of communication and yet others seeking independence.  All of which are selfish reasons to leave a marriage and cause total devastation on a family. When my husband and I got married as young as we were, we made a firm decision that we would NEVER use the word divorce in an argument. Here we are 20 years and many crisis later and we have remained true to that promise.  In many cases divorce is a selfish act, there are two people fighting to be right or to satisfy their immature desires.  We need to grow up and man/woman UP.

Today's word is Optimism, meaning that although the statistics say that fifty percent of marriages will end in divorce, I will make sure that mine will stay on the side of the ones that make it. Optimism says that no matter what comes our way we will face it together as a team.

I will share with you a TRUE story that was told to me this past week.

A smart, professional, hard working, family man in his mid-twenties met the woman of his dreams; she was beautiful, kind and loving. They got married, he bought her a beautiful house, and they had twin daughters.  From what I'm told, they truly loved each other.  It is said that the young man would do anything for his wife and daughters.  He bragged about them and was rarely seen any where without them.

 Meanwhile at his place of work there was a woman constantly flirting with him.  He was annoyed by it at first but the woman would not give up her quest to seduce him.  Day after day she became more and more aggressive in her approach.  To make a long story short, the man ended up giving in to her advances and had a one night stand with that woman.  After which he was repentant and hoped his wife would never find out.  But the other woman would not stop until she had him to herself, resulting in a short but full blown affair that lasted a few weeks.  As life would have it, the wife did find out.   

Without hesitation she filed for a divorce.  The man lost his mind at the thought of losing the woman he loved and came to her house with a gun to beg her not to leave him.  He was on his knees begging for her forgiveness and  making promises of fidelity and proclaiming his undying love for her.  Not only did she not forgive him, but she filed a restraining order against him for her and their daughters. Because he came to the house with a gun, she was granted the order. She moved away and he never saw his girls again. Everything went down hill for him at that point.  He turned to drugs, lost his job and began living with the other woman. With her, he had two kids.  He got back on his feet, regained strength and became a hard working family man again.  But this time without love.  It was evident that he was trying to do the right thing but that he didn't love that woman.  She was all wrong for him; jealous, lazy, hot head and immature (given the way the relationship started this should not be a surprise). 

Food for thought... what we don't take care of properly, will keep happening to us until we learn our lesson.  We run away from our marital problems by getting a divorce only to find 10x more problems in our next relationship.  .
... again he met a woman at work who knocked him off his feet, seducing him into another affair.  Second divorce, FOUR devastated children.  He married this third woman- she was bipolar, manic depressive and with suicidal tendencies. He ended up raising her two boys, one who had his mother's same mental condition. Last I heard he was going from mental hospital to mental hospital trying to keep these people sane & alive. 

 Lesson to be learned... divorce is not the answer, it only brings about destruction and devastation. The grass is never greener on the other side.  Remain optimistic about your marriage, seek out help where ever you can find it. Save your marriage, its worth it. 

ACTUAL PHOTO GALLERY DRAWN BY CHILDREN WHOSE PARENTS 

ARE GOING THROUGH A DIVORCE