That session was difficult for me; I stayed in my room for a few hours afterwards, feeling weak and exhausted. I laid on my small twin size bed to reflect on all the feelings and emotions that the session brought to my surface. My room didn’t help my mood much; the vibrant purple color of the walls looked like Barney blew up there. It can even get scary at times; when the walls of the room seem to be caving in all around me, it feels like a “Barney attack.”
Lolita was due back soon from her long holiday weekend visit with her family. That was usually one of the highlights of my day. I wondered which squirrels she was going to save next. I hoped not from China, I would not be able to contain my laughter if she showed up wearing a kimono.
Making an intentional effort to get out of my room, I made my way to the game room. It’s like a circus in there, the best place to be if you want to get out of your head for a while. I usually peaked in the room before entering; I had an admirer that won’t let up. It would have been flattering to have an admirer if he had not been Tom. He was a little man with a huge mustache and long sideburns. Every time I walked into a room that he was in, he’d start to sing in his chipmunk voice “Because you are my lady, you’re everything I need and more.” I could hear a commotion coming from the front door. The guards seemed to not want to allow someone inside. I peeked through the glass window and saw Lolita and her parents
standing outside. Lolita was dressed with head to toe safari gear; I could hear her say that she had to save the Australian outback squirrels and that was why she needed the bow and arrow. The guards would not have it, they wanted her to let go of the weapon. I started laughing so loud that Tom ran to the window to see why I was laughing. When he saw her, he looked at me and said “I’m disappointed with you Priscilla, Lolita must execute her mission or the aliens will abduct her again. That is no laughing matter my dear.”
Session 2
I didn’t want to get out of bed, I knew in a few minutes my name would be called for my session. “Priscilla, you have the ten o’clock appointment, come on darling” said the nurse. I decided I would go wrapped up in my blanket; I was hoping it would help me from feeling exposed. It gave me a sense of comfort. She laughed when she saw me all wrapped up, we both did. She asked me to continue my previous day’s conversation. I told her I wanted to talk about the day the clouds made a birthday cake. I continued to tell her that it so happened that it was my birthday. As soon as I laid on the field, there it was, a cake; I had the best day. I could see kids dancing, music signs, party hats, and a piñata. She wouldn’t let up, “Pricilla, can you finish telling me about the day of the storm?” that’s where you left off yesterday," she insisted. I became silent, a dense sadness took over me, I closed my eyes and drifted away to a safe place.
When I opened my eyes I saw purple walls and was lying on my bed. It must’ve happened again; I had these episodes often throughout my life. Which was what ultimately landed me in this place; I had one that lasted over a month. When I woke up, I was here. I wondered what she thought, it was the first time it happened while talking to her. That day I didn’t get out of my bed, didn’t eat, shower, nor talked to anyone. I felt ashamed when these happened; I didn’t know how to control them or avoid them. I waited until everyone was asleep, opened my dresser and pulled out a gift my grandmother gave me, my journal. I read entry by entry about my previous weeks and months.
Suddenly I heard a scuffle outside my door. I stood paralyzed with fear; something was happening right outside my door. I could hear whining noises coming from a soft voice; it sounded like a child. I covered myself from head to toe until the noise stopped. I could see the door knob twisting; someone was trying to come inside. Peaking from under my blanket, I prayed, there were no locks on these doors so that was all I could do, pray. There was a scrapping sound going down the door, a thug on the ground then total silence. After a few minutes of not hearing anything, I worked up enough courage to get up. I wanted to know what was outside my door; I took a few steps towards it when I felt it, something wet. Looking down I could see whatever it was, it was flowing in and slowly covering my floor. It was warm, dark with a somewhat thick consistency. With my fingers I touched it, brought it closer, I walked over to the window to use the light of the moon to help me see; it was blood.
Session 2
I didn’t want to get out of bed, I knew in a few minutes my name would be called for my session. “Priscilla, you have the ten o’clock appointment, come on darling” said the nurse. I decided I would go wrapped up in my blanket; I was hoping it would help me from feeling exposed. It gave me a sense of comfort. She laughed when she saw me all wrapped up, we both did. She asked me to continue my previous day’s conversation. I told her I wanted to talk about the day the clouds made a birthday cake. I continued to tell her that it so happened that it was my birthday. As soon as I laid on the field, there it was, a cake; I had the best day. I could see kids dancing, music signs, party hats, and a piñata. She wouldn’t let up, “Pricilla, can you finish telling me about the day of the storm?” that’s where you left off yesterday," she insisted. I became silent, a dense sadness took over me, I closed my eyes and drifted away to a safe place.
When I opened my eyes I saw purple walls and was lying on my bed. It must’ve happened again; I had these episodes often throughout my life. Which was what ultimately landed me in this place; I had one that lasted over a month. When I woke up, I was here. I wondered what she thought, it was the first time it happened while talking to her. That day I didn’t get out of my bed, didn’t eat, shower, nor talked to anyone. I felt ashamed when these happened; I didn’t know how to control them or avoid them. I waited until everyone was asleep, opened my dresser and pulled out a gift my grandmother gave me, my journal. I read entry by entry about my previous weeks and months.
Suddenly I heard a scuffle outside my door. I stood paralyzed with fear; something was happening right outside my door. I could hear whining noises coming from a soft voice; it sounded like a child. I covered myself from head to toe until the noise stopped. I could see the door knob twisting; someone was trying to come inside. Peaking from under my blanket, I prayed, there were no locks on these doors so that was all I could do, pray. There was a scrapping sound going down the door, a thug on the ground then total silence. After a few minutes of not hearing anything, I worked up enough courage to get up. I wanted to know what was outside my door; I took a few steps towards it when I felt it, something wet. Looking down I could see whatever it was, it was flowing in and slowly covering my floor. It was warm, dark with a somewhat thick consistency. With my fingers I touched it, brought it closer, I walked over to the window to use the light of the moon to help me see; it was blood.
No comments:
Post a Comment