Is your partner "the one" for you?

Continuing on the topic of missed opportunities, how would you answer this? Did you marry the right person or did you miss the opportunity of marrying “the one?” I remember in the years I was growing up, there was a lot of talk about this.” Everyone was waiting on God for him or her spouse; walking afraid of making the wrong choice.  I can specifically recall a situation where the bride was so afraid of being out of the will of God that she prayed that if this man she was marrying wasn’t “the one” that God would kill her before she got to the altar.  I also recall another case where a woman had been a single mother for years waiting for “the one.” Until one day a man confessed his love for her; he was a hard working Christian man, single, and had no children of his own.  To everyone including her, he fit the bill.  With everyone she knew on board, they went ahead and got married.  They seemed like the perfect couple.  Well behaved kids, beautiful home, never missed a church service.  Little did anyone know that “the one” turned into a monster shortly after the wedding.  This woman endured abuse to her and her children for years, thinking she had done something wrong  or that perhaps she could pray more to make this work; after all, it had to work, she had waited and married “the one.”

In case I haven’t made my point clear enough, here it is; I don’t believe in “the one” theory.  LOL People come and go into our lives that could possibly be good life partners for us if both parties were willing to put in the work.  There isn't a magic formula that makes one person perfect for us or not perfect for us.  Bottom line, relationships are a commitment more so than anything else.  When you meet someone, there is a lot of work to be done in order for the two of you to get along.  Regardless of how many things you have in common, it takes communication, time and dedication to take a relationship to another level.   You could possibly be unhappy with the person you are with; one day you come across a person that you could have been with and begin to wonder what your life would've been like with him or her.  Can I tell you what I think?It would have been the same! Because we are the ones who determine the course of a relationship; what we allow or don't allow, how we are to be treated, or not be treated, and most importantly the boundaries we set are crucial.  That's why we see many people go from one relationship to the next then to the next looking for "that person" that's going to fulfill all of their expectations.  Guess what, that person doesn't exist;  we become "the one" for one another by working diligently and intentionally every day of our lives.      

The "trial period" of living together it's not biblical because it doesn't work.  Studies show that when two people live together without the commitment of marriage the chances of them making it as lifelong partners are slim. Why? Well, in my opinion, because the “commitment of for better or for worse” is missing. Mind you I would NEVER encourage someone to stay in an abusive situation for the sake of “commitment.”  I’m talking about the ups and downs of life, in sickness and in health, for rich or for poor; those are the times that “commitment” helps you stick it out.  Yes the fire dies, you have to rekindle, yes you hurt one another, you have to forgive and ask for forgiveness, yes you fail one another, you have to be willing to put the pieces back together.  If you are on a "trial" period, how much of that would you be willing to repair?

So if you are sitting around waiting for “the one” to appear, stand up.  "The one" doesn't appear, he/she becomes.  It could be someone less than perfect passing by you at the grocery store, or even sitting next to you at Starbucks.  Become proactive, give someone a chance and see what happens.  As long as you don’t compromise the principles you hold dear to your heart and your spirit; that person could most definitely “become” “the one.”