Saturday, April 13, 2013
Your Life is Bigger Than Your Fears
This week went by really fast; I can’t believe I’m another week older... UGH! Lol Ok so I have to tell you something, I told my oldest that I shared his accident with you; so he asked me if he could write a post. Imagine that!?!? I was so excited; told him he could write tomorrow’s blog; because every Friday I like to put someone different to write the blog. He agreed on one condition; that I can’t see the content of what he is writing until tomorrow. WHAT?? I agreed... Lord Help Us! On to "my" opinion of the last three fears. LOL
When we have a fear of rejection we have two extremes; we either live to please or withdraw from people. We live with the fear that people won’t like us for who we really are. We try to become who we think others want us to be, in order to feel accepted. We go out of our way to avoid confrontations, to such an extreme that at times we compromise our principles. We have difficulty communicating as well as expressing our feelings. In a nutshell, to overcome this fear we have to accept ourselves for who we are. This is not an easy task; we are constantly comparing ourselves with others. Wishing we had their looks, intelligence or wit. I’m sorry to be the one to say that although we can improve ourselves thru growing; our personality is what it is. Accepting yourself fully will help you accept that not everyone is going to like us or agree with us. But, the people who truly care will love and accept you just the way you are. And think about it, those are the people we want in our lives anyway. We don’t need hundreds of people to accept and love us … all it takes is one; the right one. Don’t conform to living a life in which your happiness depends on what other people think and say about you. Be yourself, and the right people will come along.
Fear of trust usually develops from a life event in which our trust has been compromised. It usually carries with it the feelings of betrayal, anger, and guilt. One of the highest rated events that cause this fear is infidelity. Although I have never experienced the pain of infidelity. I have lived through the horrible pain of different types of betrayals in friendships, jobs, and family. So I can speak about that pain; and it’s not easy to overcome. Sometimes we don’t receive the apology we want or the revenge we want or even the repentance we want. So what do we do then? We have to make a choice for our own peace of mind. Holding grudges only steals your joy and you end up punishing yourself. By choosing never to trust anyone again, we deprive ourselves of meaningful relationships. In the end it’s our choice to make. To trust or not to trust. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t learn from our pain. We must learn, do things differently, and CHOOSE to trust again. “OUR” joy depends on it ;)
When we have a Fear of love we usually live in fear of being hurt, fear of commitment, fear of disappointing or fear of loss. Falling in love isn’t easy for anyone, it requires sacrifice, compromise, acceptance and forgiveness. I believe that every time you open your heart, whether it is for friendship or romance you are taking a risk. I have experienced all of these fears, we all have. What's important is what we choose to do with that fear. We can either learn life’s lessons and grow or rebel and live a loveless life. I don’t know about you but I believe it’s worth the risk.
“Loving can cost a lot but not loving always costs more and those who fear to love often find that want of love is an emptiness that robs the joy from life.” ~ Merle Sham
I do not believe for one second that my opinion on these fears will completely heal anyone. I’m only hoping that it will make you think and want a better life for yourself. Through my words I pray you will gain enough courage to find whatever it is that is keeping you from experiencing life to the fullest and living your dreams. I want you to walk away knowing that you were made by God to have joy, peace and happiness. It is not His will for you to live in fear of anything. He wants you to understand your value and you’re potential….to see yourself through his eyes.