Pulling Out The Big Guns !

For quite some time now during my travels with my husband I have had some reoccurring questions. I get women and men from different walks of life struggling with some of the same issues in regards to relationships. Eventhough I don’t have an A-Z guide; I can share what has worked for me and mine. You can take my life’s experiences and customize them to fit your own. I’m pretty sure I have some insight to offer in this area. I will be sharing different aspects of our life. I hope and pray that you can find at least one thing that will be helpful to you or someone you know. I will begin by sharing how hubby and I were able to date “long distance” for seven years and how for all those years I managed to keep him deeply in love. LOL  I had him craving more of me, even from 9 hours away and only seeing each other every few months. Hahaha

Here are some of the Big Guns I pulled:

1. Portray confidence, not cockiness.

2. Be friendly, not desperate.

3. Smart, but not intimidating.

4. Show your strengths but stay feminine.

5. Be a good listener.

6. Remain a mystery.

7. Reserved but not shy.

8. Be as sweet as sweet can be.

9. Show some vulnerability, not neediness.

10. Never ever let him see you sweat! Lol

Portraying confidence doesn’t mean you flaunt your good looks; tell him/her about all of your achievements, diplomas, degrees and all your good qualities all in one breath. Lol It just means that you know your value. It’s an internal confidence that shows itself externally. This is something you have to work on achieving through self-help, by reading, learning and applying or through counseling. It’s my number one on the list; that’s how important I think it is. When I met my husband, although I was very young, I already had a sense of self worth and self respect. If there was something my mother and sisters made sure to pass down from generation to generation was that women are powerful, strong, smart, and important; but above all, worthy of respect. I portrayed that immediately to him; amazingly these are the characteristics he admired most about me. He was handsome, charming, loving, caring, and on top of it all he could sing and play the piano. How is that for being a “girl magnet?” lol I had been told about how many girls were interested in him, about how many moms were trying to get him for their daughters. Let me tell you the competition was intense; but, I pretended to be oblivious to any of it. LOL

The one thing I concentrated on was being myself. I was not about pretending to be someone I’m not. Still to this day, what you see is what you get with me. You would think this to be a good thing, but on occasions he would get negative feedback about being with someone like me. Many people wanted him to marry someone that had his same talents and gifts. Sorry folks, that wasn’t me; I don’t have any of it. LOL I was simply a youth leader at my church and worked at a bank; nothing out of the ordinary but, I was special in my own way. This brings me to my number 2, be friendly but not desperate. I knew he was an amazing catch, but so was I, LOL internally knowing this, (not faking it) it’s extremely important; I can’t emphasize it enough. Your self esteem should be strong enough so that you are able to attract the person that will respect and love you the way you deserve. Don't get me wrong; self esteem is an area that we will continue to work on throughout our lives; therefore it should always be on the forefront of our "to do list”. Daily renewal, self evaluation, reflection and above all, understanding who you are to God; that alone will help take care of your low self-worth. So, I started by getting to know him as a friend. I gained his confidence, trust, affection by asking him about himself and about the things that mattered to him. Befriending his family and friends, never would I speak one negative word against anyone he cared about. More than anything, I wanted him to fall for me;  but , I was friendly, not desperate.

* Tomorrow I will continue going over my list.

BTW, what do you think about the order of my list? What would you add to it? :)