Happiness is .... an Inside Job

                                                     

Make your life count, help someone in need, care for the helpless, feed the hungry, clothe the homeless, for that is where true happiness lies.  I learned that the road to happiness is not something you seek; it’s something that happens when you are willing to choose it over any circumstance.   The more you look for ways to make yourself happy, the worse the detour.  Seeking happiness is a dead end street. No “one”thing on earth can give it nor take it away.  It is through God and through making a daily decision to be happy, that we can achieve it. 

In my last post I started to share with you about the time I experienced depression for the first time in my life.  This happened after many months of horrific events, constant stress and on top of that, the death of my brother.  I reached a breaking point where being or staying strong wasn’t an option.  I cried all the time, could barely get out of bed, had to force myself to eat and could barely sleep.  Hours turned to days, days turned to weeks and weeks turned to months. I was desperate, I wanted to be myself, and I missed me.  If there was one thing I learned from that experience is never to tell anyone that is going thru something like this “get over it” because as much as I tried, I couldn’t.  I did absolutely everything I knew to do, pray,read the bible, hear sermons, and meditate everything except VOODOO!!!! LOL

This is a time when only your true friends remain and your family becomes your life line.  Because the recovery requires so much support and understanding; you must surround yourself with people who believe you will get better. My husband became more than a husband, he became my hero.  He didn’t believe for one moment that I would stay there.  He constantly encouraged and loved me in the midst of this dark time. I never felt rushed, misunderstood, or as if I was a burden to him.  He loved me thru it. My sisters, nieces and nephews were my life lines; I drew what little strength I could muster from them.  They didn’t leave me for one minute;I felt their love and support all the way thru. 

I wish I could tell you I used a magic wand to get better but I can’t. It took hard work, time and persistence.  I was determined to get better.  I allowed time to heal, I rested, and I started to exercise, just walking at first.  But probably the most helpful was talking; talking to my family and good friends. I went to a Christian counselor that helped me put things into perspective.  Slowly but surely I began to feel better.  Because my depression had passed the three month mark, my counselor recommended meds.  As apprehensive as I was to taking them, I was desperate; my kids needed me, I could not remain in this state. For the sake of myself and my family, I was willing to do whatever it took.  Within a week or two I began to see color again.  I felt as if a tiny window had opened up inside my dark place from which a ray of sunshine was peeking through.That’s when my journey to wellness began. I won’t tell you I don’t have bad days, because I do.  But they are rare and far in between.  I choose happiness,joy, and peace every morning. And yes there are days when every one of those is tested and I fail miserably, but I pick up again the next day. 

            Your road to wellness might be completely different than mine, everyone has their own path.  But the one thing we must all do is persevere.  Do whatever it takes to get better. We have to realize that we are not the only ones being affected. Our kids, our families the people who love us, are all affected. The longer you wait to seek help, the more precious time you lose with those you love.  Those months felt like a lifetime to me; don’t waste another minute of your life being unhappy. 

That is not the life God intended for us to have; He came so that we may have life and have it more abundantly.