Catch Me If You Can...10 ways to keep your kids alive!

Have you ever felt like running away from home? You know that feeling that you can’t do anything right?  Those days that you feel overwhelmed thinking that parenting is way above your head? Well, I have….. LOL I have had days where I literally want to run like a track star while screaming "catch me if you can". lol You know, that day when your kids aren’t obeying, your husband is getting on your nerves, everything in the house is behind; laundry, cleaning, cooking…. I have to tell you, when I have those days I want to scream “why do I have to be responsible for your clean clothes, for what you eat, and for having a clean house, DO IT YOURSELF!!! hahaha This is probably the topic I feel least confident about, not because I feel I’m not doing enough, but because I have to wait quite a few years before I know the results.  That being said, I have to tell you that for now, I’m only writing from theory not based on results. My boys are only 9 and 10 therefore, I can only pray that it will pay off. 

I have noticed that kids are very intuitive, even if you and your spouse don’t argue in front of them or cry in front of them; they can feel something is not right.  I have had moments when I felt sad and tried my hardest to keep it from my boys; it's strange how that’s the day when they are most clingy to me. They feel something is wrong but they don’t have the maturity to understand what it is.  According to Dr.Phil children have a tendency to feel that things are their fault or that they had something to do with whatever fails.  As I thought about that, I became more intentional about what I do and say and feel.  I realized that I can’t fake my way through motherhood.  I must do my best to become my best.  It wasn't their choice to come into this world, It was mine.  So this is a time  in my life when I have to put their needs ahead of mine.  This is a list of ten things that I strive for in my journey of becoming a better mom;

1.      Truly listen and try to understand things from their perspective.

2.      Make them feel loved for who they are and not for what they do. Don’t say bad boy or bad girl. Say that they made a bad choice or a good choice. That way they understand that what they do is not who they are.

3.      Respect them as you respect anyone.  Sometimes without realizing it we show strangers more respect than we show our kids.

4.      Be honest about how you feel instead of hiding things from them.  Taking their age into consideration of course; sometimes just reassuring them that your mood has nothing to do with them, is enough.

5.      Take at least one moment in the day to talk to them about anything at all.

6.      Help them understand consequences instead of just inflicting punishment.

7.      Play with them without distractions; no TV or cell phones allowed.

8.      Be realistic about your expectations.  Dont expect them to clean the way you would, if they are only three years old. LOL

9.      Tell them you love them and that you are proud of them every single day.

10.  Pray and read the Bible with them.

 I know this does not apply to everyone but this is the way we decided to do it.  I wanted to stay home with my kids while they were small.  I understand that there are many moms that work outside the home and are amazing parents. When it comes to kids and time what matters is quality time not quantity.  For us, this took some mayor sacrifices; one car to share between my husband and I, go without shopping for SHOES months and months (that’s a tough one) and many other things that I have to cut back to be with them.  I love every minute of it, now that they are in school, I can dedicate myself to other things. There is a time for everything in life. If you live in the moment you will be able to enjoy every step of the way.

The time for me to be a mommy is very short; I can only parent them for a short time.  After that, I have to stand back and watch them grow on their own.  So while I’m blessed enough to still be in that stage I want to make the most of it.  I have heard way too many people have tremendous regrets about how they parented.  I am far from perfect but I am conscience that I’m doing the best I can.   Do I make mistakes? EVERYDAY! Lol but I recognize them, apologize and change. 

Some of the best things I’ve hear my boys say are “mom, stop loving us so much” lol “Mom, I can’t never get enough of your hugs” “mom, calm your spirit, I’ll only be gone for ONE day” hahaha “mom, your favorite time of the year is coming up; SUMMER” lol because I tell them I love to have them home. As crazy as this may sound … I truly do get sad when they have to go back school. Lol  

I will end with this…. My mom didn’t follow any list, yet she raised amazing kids. Which makes me wonder, how did she do it? So I sit back and think about my childhood. I remember the way I felt when I walked into my house. There was a feeling of acceptance, love, peace and happiness. I remember the smile on my mother’s face when I walked into a room.  There was always laughter; we shared lots of conversations as a family.  So I walk away thinking that, how we make our kids “feel” far outweighs what we give them or say to them.  Let’s make it our goal to make our homes a peaceful haven for them.  A place that when they walk in the door they know they are safe, welcomed and accepted.  We got this!! LOL