If I could turn back time...I would

How is this ok?? I have no clue how to raise boys. Come on man, I've lived with nothing but women all my life and then I get two boys; is this a joke? Lol I live on the verge of a nervous breakdown… I’ve gotten a lot better but in the beginning I would be scared to death. Everything “boy” they did, I thought they needed therapy. Jumping from the sofa, to the chair, to the table (ADHD?) They made sound effects with their mouth (thourette’s syndrome?). hahaha This brings me to last night, one of the coldest nights in Florida 35 degrees and they wanted to camp out in the backyard!! Seriously? What girl can possibly understand that?? But, not having any choice in the matter, I have learned to adapt somewhat. I put on my sweatpants and COAT and went inside the tent with my hubby, my boys and their friends. I had a good time, there is no better feeling than hearing your child tell their friends; “let my mom inside the tent, she says the best stories” lol;so sweet.

During this week I would like to share some of my childhood experiences with you. Experiences that if I could turn back time, I would, but there wouldn't be much I would change.  I hope you find something that makes you think, reflect, or smile.  Our upbringing plays a huge part in who we are and what we become. The ideal situation is that as we mature we would be able to pick and choose which parts of that upbringing we want to repeat and which parts were mere lessons not to be repeated. This is most def a challenge. Watching my mother be both a mom and dad to us, gave me a sense of self-sufficiency. I saw her trying to work, care for her home and raise four girls on her own. As difficult as life was for her, I never felt as if we were burdens to her. She loved us and we knew it…. that made all the difference in how we perceived things. I was born in Puerto Rico, my mother worked at a candy store and my father was an ex navy sailor who now worked in construction. Three older sisters the youngest of them was eight years older than I... they still baby me to this day lol.  Although I can’t remember many details about my toddler years, I remember bits and pieces of moments that influenced me in some way or another.

My parents divorced when I was about 5 years old. The only thing that I remember vividly is how it made me feel. I felt afraid and scared that I was going to be abandoned; it was sort of a separation anxiety. I didn’t understand many things; I had mixed emotions because although I was scared, I also felt a sense of relief. There was a feeling of peace and calmness throughout the house that wasn’t there before the divorce. Don’t get me wrong, I am a firm believer in the importance of a two parent home. This is where we learn the role of a wife, husband, mother and father. If modeled well, it is most def the best school our children will ever attend, "the school of human relations". If modeled wrong, it could be the most damaging experience anyone could experience, because it’s experienced during our character forming years. "The most powerful role model in a child's life is the same-sex parent". (Dr.Phil.) I thank God we were all girls and that I have boys! lol

The better option is usually to do everything in your power to stay together.  I can attest to that myself, the lack of a father figure in my life affected my adults years in different ways.  One of my favorite "dad" quotes is one by Sigmund Freud "I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection" I had trust issues, abandonment issues, "male" authority issues.  All which I've had to work through as an adult to be all that I can be.  Growing up and seeing my friends with their dads, I wondered what it would feel like to have my dad in my life.  That being said, there are cases in which "Kids are better off coming from a broken home, than living in one.” (Dr.Phil) When I first heard Dr. Phil say those words, they resonated with me. I understood exactly what he meant.  Under no circumstances should anyone tolerate abuse of any sort. My mother never suffered physical abuse, but as we all know there are other types of abuse that hurt just as bad,if not worse. There is an abuse that hurts the spirit, rather than the body. 

 My mother taught us a great lesson by being brave enough to leave a bad situation. I believe strongly had she stayed, our lives would have turned out differently. The moment my mother left that situation she sowed one of the most important seeds anyone could sow in their children. To value yourself enough to expect better, to love yourself enough to want more.