Lets Spice It Up...10 Ways To Keep Love Alive!

Thank you so much for your feedback to my last two blog posts, your comments have been inspiring.  It’s good to know that my life experiences are helping someone.  I’m excited to tell you that because of the feedback I have gotten from you, I was able to get a Professional on matters of the mind to blog for us on Friday.  Yolanda Velez is a good friend of mine, she is a pastor, working on her masters in psychology and has been counseling for many years. She was the one that after giving me an extensive evaluation, officially diagnosed me as “out of my mind” LOL jk she has helped me with some very difficult times in my life and I know she will be a blessing to you also.  On Friday she will be giving us some tools on managing stress, anxiety and depression, I can’t wait.  

On a lighter note, today I want to give you a list of 10 things you can do intentionally with your spouse to shake things up. Lol these are things that appear odd at first, but the more you practice them, the more natural they become.  Everyone likes to feel appreciated, loved, cared for and valued.  Your spouse is no exception; the problem is we are too busy waiting for the other person to give those things first.   Keep in mind that I’m talking about a healthy relationship, one in which both parties love and respect one another.  If there is no love or respect between you, you have to seek healing before you can do these things genuinely. Before we can be good parents we should be good partners.  It’s not just about self satisfaction it’s also about modeling healthy behavior for your children, showing them how relationships should be.  Kids will do what we do, before they do what we say.   

  

I call my top five “the magic fives” lol

1.      Give your spouse at least 5 compliments a day.

2.      Give them at least 5 minutes (preferably more) of your undivided attention.

3.      Make an effort to be affectionate, to touch them at least 5 times a day.

4.      Make them laugh at least 5 times a day.

5.      Flirt with them at least 5 times a day.

6.      Have date nights (even if it’s in the house, after the kids have gone to sleep)

7.      Surprise them once in a while with something you haven’t done before; dance, sing, pillow fight, wrestle… you get my drift.lol

8.      Give each other space.

9.      Plan a day where you will do what the other enjoys doing.

10.  Pray together

This list may appear simple enough but trust me, when you are out of practice, have been married more than 15 years and have little ones at home. It’s a challenge to even get to number two! LOL Take baby steps, you don’t have to do all ten the first day.  Believe me if you do, your partner might call the mental hospital to pick you up thinking you have lost your mind. LOL

These are some of the ways my hubby and I

have implemented some of these:

             * Every morning when he is home, he brings me coffee in bed. 

* Every night before I go to bed, he brings me ice water with a squirt of lime to bed. LOL

* As soon as I wake up, I look in his eyes and tell him “I love you today” we have been doing this for almost 20 years, its second nature.

* I brag about his coffee every single day. LOL

* I thank him for every little thing he does. Take out the garbage, pull weeds, take the kids to school, and fix something around the house. I really do mean everything. LOL he does the same for me. He even has the kids thank me too. So sweet lol

* He travels often so almost every time he comes home, I make sure I have a surprise for him. Even if it’s something simple like his favorite meal. One time the kids and I organized his closet. Lol another time, we waited for him at the airport holding up a sign that said “the best dad in the world” lol

* I love to make him laugh, a sense of humor it’s very important to have.  Laughter really is medicine for the soul.  I text him jokes I come across on the internet. I do spontaneous things like sing out loud with my horrible voice. LOL

* We touch each other almost every time we pass by each other. We hold hands in the car, even in bed while watching TV. I know it’s weird but we really do. LOL

* We understand the importance of giving each other space to grow as individuals. I do things with my friends and he does things with his.

* Once in a while do something the other one likes to do. For instance my hubby loves soccer so I accompany him to the games. I love nature walks, sightseeing, so on occasions he accompanies me on my ventures. Lol

* Last but not least, we pray together.  We pray for wisdom to guide our kids through the right path. We pray for our marriage to continue thriving during trying times.

Do we have a perfect marriage? Far from it! We face the same challenges everyone else faces.  Our marriage has been through rocky roads, roller coaster rides, thru hell and back… but survived. LOL Many times we have had to CHOOSE forgiveness, mercy, love, compassion, in spite of what we feel.  That’s why I believe commitment comes before anything else in a relationship.  When separation is not an option; we become creative to live in peace. LOL So if I’m committing to live with this person for the rest of my life….

 I want to be happy, therefore, I will do whatever it takes!!! LOL